Teacher Feedback - Mr Smith

Magazine title: BREAKDOWN – Luke Niblett

	Minimal  Level 1 10 – 23 marks	Basic Level 2 24–35 marks	Proficiency Level 3            36–47 marks	Excellence Level 4            48–60 marks
framing a shot, including and excluding elements as appropriate		Photo’s fine but not sure about DPS image
using a variety of shot distances as appropriate		Variety of distance used but guitar and plectrum don’t add much
shooting material appropriate to the task set		Contents photos are weak, crowd image is odd as the faces seen look incredibly bored. DPS needs different photo
selecting mise-en-scène including colour, figure, lighting, objects and setting		Main image too well lit and seems stuck onto cover
manipulating photographs as appropriate to the context for presentation, including cropping and resizing	Don't colour in eyes, doesn’t add anything
accurately using language and register		Contents is too wordy, DPS article is good if too short
appropriately integrating illustration and text		Everything is legible but very ‘safe’
showing understanding of conventions of layout and page design	No evidence of columns, only THREE things in whole mag, no page no’s, no branding. No grab lines, no fluff etc
showing awareness of the need for variety in fonts and text size	Little to no variety
using ICT appropriately for the task set		Ok

Summary Comment Luke: this doesn’t ‘look’ or feel like a magazine because neither the contents nor the DPS follow any of the conventions. Use columns, use page numbers, use logo/website on page corners for branding. Why is the name of the magazine on the contents page? Why aren’t your contents broken down into categories? Why is you magazine 14 pages long? How much does it cost? Your article MUST be longer. Look at Q magazines and see how they are laid out. You have a lot of work to do (most of it simple basic tweaks) to get this looking like a magazine. You also need to take more photographs.